It's in the Hair

Pre lupus days I had beautiful jet black shiny long hair that went all the way to my elbows. It was full and thick and always looked like it belonged in a shampoo commercial especially when it was blowing in the wind. Everyone always complimented my hair and I went through great lengths to protect it. My mom would even comment on how I need to treasure my hair because it was one of my strong physical attributes. After being diagnosed with Lupus and going on chemo and taking numerous medications, my beautiful long hair started to fall out. Now I shouldnt be so dramatic since it I never has to shave it bald or anything, but it would shed to the point where I would have all these bald spots. It always grows back and I would always try to grow it out again. After this lupus flare, I felt like I was home free when I didn't notice any hair shedding. But alas, I spoke too soon. My hair is starting to fall out yet again and tomorrow is the day I have to chop it off again. I guess this is my insecurity speaking but I feel like I'm losing my beauty and everything ladylike about me. Without long hair I don't think anyone will find me desirable. It sounds pathetic to place such importance on my hair but it's just how I feel.